Thursday, March 18, 2010

I'd Rather Work than Date?

Since my last serious relationship three years ago – and a rough, quick heartbreak shortly after – I have truly been more interested in working and having a fun single life than I was in looking for a mate. I loosely dated here and there, but never anything too serious, and without expending too much effort.

And then, like biological clockwork, I recently realized that I was ready to be in a relationship again – perhaps settle down a bit and really invest some time with a significant other. And, in the most timely way possible with very little patience necessary, I met someone who was actually a great catch: smart, attractive, interesting, listened to NPR! And was thinking he was ready to settle down too. Man, I just love it when that happens!

So we went on a first date. And another and some more. And talked. And kissed. And it was fun and exciting and hopeful.

And now, a few weeks and a touch of an emotional investment later, he’s back with his ex. And that my friends, is dating! I totally forgot that’s how it goes.

What I have been more accustomed to in recent years are the rules of running a business. Make a to-do list; cross things off. Target new business prospects; fulfill their needs. Hire worthy employees; give them projects. Enter bills; invoice clients.

Of course in business, there is still some heartbreak and disillusionment, but it is much more measured and anticipated. Surely you cannot expect to land every client you pursue. Not all employees you hire will be superstars. There are times of financial uncertainty. Clearly there are good days and bad. But all in all, there are rules of engagement – and to me, it all makes sense and follows a generally predictable pattern.

So really, right now, I’d rather work than date. It’s easier - and there is a greater chance of success.

But there was a time, not long ago, when running my business was not so easy. It was unfamiliar and hard and forced me to learn new skills and new ways of doing things. I messed up and felt out of place and wasn’t always sure what I was doing. I cried and bitched and questioned my decisions.

Which kind of sounds like how I feel when I’m … dating.

So maybe finding a mate isn’t much unlike running a business after all (many self-help authors have often made this claim). Maybe it's more likely that I am just at a different stage of the dating game than I am in the sport of business. Not that there aren’t still bad days and tough losses; but at least now I understand where it’s coming from and recognize that it’s par for the course. And I have the knowledge that one day, it just clicked and I found my groove.

And I guess that is wherein the hope lies. As with building a company, there should be a day – hopefully in the not so distant future – when the rituals of dating will become easier and more familiar. That the bumps will become more tolerable and better navigated. That I will be as successful at it as I am in business.

Luckily, I’m a very fast learner.


BusiGirl said...

Testing comments!

unwrinkled said...

oh no busigirl! did you read this?


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